Sometimes my life is so farcical that I wonder if I'm living in my own version of the Truman Show but my version is a comedy of errors about a hapless mum who is always in over her head.
I spent a recent post moaning about having to work in an office which was so bonkers that a recruitment agent apparently refused to place staff within because it would be "bad for their health", so yesterday was my first day of "freedom".
This is a list of what happened:
*My mum is staying at the moment, so while "chatting" away and having a book read to him, the McBaby pooed on her floor. While clearing it up, I found that he'd also managed to poo inside her handbag. I have to admit, that I did hesitate about cleaning it up as I shouldn't really have been looking in there, and it would have been uproariously funny if she'd found it a few days later. I cleared it up. What a champ.
*I took the McBaby into nursery for a couple of hours so I could write something. I picked him up later and he was wearing nappies, but came with a pooey pair of pants, which I managed to drop on the kitchen floor while showing MrM my domestic skills. I had to clear it up before I realised that they were not the McBaby's pants and he was wearing a nappy, so couldn't have been his poo.
*He also came home with a photo frame complete with photo of him inside. Except I protested that it couldn't be him - "it's a blind child!". Or a child squinting into the sun.
*I then had to take him to a photoshoot that I'd been asked to do for a local charity, so I asked my mum to look after him while I did some snapping. I dragged the main players away from the buffet and posed them for the picture. I did get a few usable pictures, but one of them contains my mother in the background throwing a scone into a hedge. "The McBaby dropped it on the floor so I didn't know what to do with it," she protested.
*During the speeches at the same event, the McBaby threw a conker at the window while the local MP was cutting the ribbon.
*Bumped into a friend on the way home, so invited them to our house. They have a house built by the same construction firm, so friend's DH embarrassingly showed me that I had been locking the door (and the window, it transpires) wrongly since we moved in. This was no help at all when my friend then locked herself in the bathroom and I couldn't get her out, so MrM had to break the lock with a screwdriver. I have form with this topic (see Christmas Eve when father-in-law got locked in and also our old house when a new babysitter got locked in the back bedroom).
*Saw another friend selling her beautiful food from a new stall, so bought the McBaby some cake which he dropped on the floor. So I had to buy another. And another.....
End credits roll....
Next week on Unprepared Mum.....