Friday, 25 October 2013

The unprepared mum is unprepared....

Today was a new low in my parenting abilities as I took the Mcbaby to his splash class at the local swimming pool just up the road.

I'm not going to blame the massive blow to the head that I received in the pool, because the disorganisation came as I packed our swimming bag and dressed us with our swimming gear underneath. The head injury, incidentally, arose because each child was given a little watering can to fill up and pour over their mum's heads before swapping places and being on the receiving end of the water. The exercise is to get them to be used to getting their heads wet.

Coaxed by the teacher into filling up his watering can and pouring it over me, the McBaby just threw the full watering can at my head, spout end first. This was surprisingly painful and may have led to me being too vigorous with the next few underwater games.

But back to the beginning. I forgot my wallet and had to ask them to look our name up on the computer and check we were members. Fortunately, they let us in, and so our 45 minutes of fun (apart from having a watering can flung at my head) began.

After doing the hokey cokey, I got us into the shower and realised I'd forgotten soap and shampoo. Never mind. A quick rinse and we'll have a bath at home.

I then realised I'd forgotten my pants, but you'd probably gathered that from my second sentence. As I took the McBaby's swimming nappy off, I realised the water from my swimming suit was now all over his t-shirt. I then realised I'd forgotten to bring a normal nappy. I also forgot my phone, it turns out, and got home to find 4 voicemails.

And I have one child. Just how did the two ladies at today's session who took two children swimming remember everything?


Friday, 18 October 2013

The Geiger counter....

The McBaby and I ventured to the church coffee morning for the first time in ages, picking up a couple of Christmas decorations and the obligatory candle (I am always fearful that our electricity will run out and we won't be able to see!).

I also bought McBaby some cake which he shredded to pieces. Mindful of the telling off I got last time he did that, I dutifully took the chair to the bin and swept the crumbs into it. Returning to the table, there was a loud bang and I saw the McBaby's chair tip forward and his face hit the table. There seemed to be silence for a few seconds before he started screaming. I ran over to him to be blocked by a substantial woman rolling her eyes and shouting; "Where's his mother?"

"I'm here and I'm trying to get past you!"

McBaby had a ferocious bruise but had calmed down after I kissed it better and gave him lots of hugs. But about 200 eyes were still on us and the tutting around the room sounded like someone carrying out a test with a Geiger counter. I decided that more cake would help both of us.

We walked back to the table where I was repeatedly told that the McBaby had hit his face, including once by the perfect mum that I see absolutely everywhere. In fact, I am absolutely certain she wasn't even in the room when it happened as I hadn't seen her up to then! She must have heard it happen from her house and only popped up to tell me what a bad mum I was.

Undeterred, I let the McBaby choose a cake and in his excitement, unbelievably, he banged his chin on the table. More tears. More internal panic that he had re-opened the wound.

"Rub his chin! Rub his chin!" a woman shouted in my face.

I couldn't decide whether to tell her that I couldn't because he's already cut it open or just rub it as she was still shouting "rub his chin," now with a more irritated tone. So we just left.

"See you next time" said an old lady as we left. Don't think so!


*In the last 24 hours since that happened yesterday morning, I'm pleased to announce that no more McBaby facial features were harmed!

Tuesday, 15 October 2013

Tony and MIke

We took the McBaby to the theatre at the weekend to see an beautiful play based on the country and city mouse.

Called Tony and Mike, it managed to hold him spellbound for 45 minutes with the need for just one "run outside to the door and crazy dance".

Highly recommended!

Simpler times...

The McBaby and I have had a difficult morning together owing to his reluctance to walk into town with me.

I stupidly forgot to get the pushchair out of the car this morning, meaning it went off to work with MrM; leaving McBaby and I to walk the five minute walk into town. This normally wouldn't have presented a problem, but he would not walk; either posting his head between my legs to let me know what he wanted to be carried, or sitting down in protest on the floor.

Is it my imagination or is everyone a little too ready to comment on a woman trying to walk up the street with a recalcitrant toddler? People telling me he was hungry, that he needed me to carry him, that he was upset?

And it's not just strangers either. People I know have told me this week that I should get reins for the Mcbaby, that I play with him too much and that he shouldn't be in a bed, that he shouldn't be in our bed, that he should spend time with me, that he should go to nursery more often.

However, it all came right this afternoon when the McBaby and I found this old memory game toy from the 1970s in the cupboard. I loved the vintage hand-drawn pictures and the McBaby loved doing the matching...

Friday, 11 October 2013

Domestic bliss

We had to wait in for a parcel that MrM had ordered yesterday so I enlisted the McBaby's help with cleaning and cooking. On reflection, we probably should have done those two the other way round....

So first up, we made an apple crumble. Here's the McBaby eating the butter...

And here he is unknowingly polishing the floor after I hoovered it.

Top tip people: tie microfibre cloths to your child's feet....

Monday, 7 October 2013


What beautiful weather we had at the weekend! What better opportunity to go for long, long, long walks in the woods and to teach the little one how to climb a tree?

This is us at Savernake Forest. What did you get up to? What walks can you recommend?


Wednesday, 2 October 2013

Rhyme Time

We enjoyed a wonderful rhyme time session at Hungerford Library today and McBaby had a great time singing his favourite songs and meeting lots of new friends. In fact, I made lots of friends too so feel we're really settling into the town that we've just moved to!

That's the post I wish I could have written. But today's session actually ended 15 minutes after it started for us as I had to remove my naughty little boy from the singing after he snatched a cushion from a little girl. Just to clarify, she was actually sitting on it at the time.

Oh the shame.


Peppa again

Leaving a snoring son and husband in bed, I crept downstairs to do some work and just happened to put the TV on to find Peppa Pig starting on Channel 5.

Does the McBaby have a special sensor or bat hearing that can pick up the Peppa theme at 100 paces? The theme hadn't even finished and he was wide awake and sitting next to me on the sofa!

He has a similar capacity for knowing when his dad is pouring a bowl of cereal - and no sooner is the milk in the bowl, than he is positioning himself for a morsel!

What does your child seem mysteriously able to detect?


Stay at Home McMum

October 1st feels like a bit of a new beginning - I feel all "back to school - new year's resolution"y thanks to giving up booze for a month and quitting my job.

Fed up with getting up early, going to work and then driving home again, I am now back at home full time with the McBaby. Our first day was lovely with an autumnal walk pictured below where McBaby played a game where he leapt from cow pat to cow pat shouting "let's go!" each time. My part in the game was to scrub his trousers and shoes when we got home....

We then fed the ducks by the canal where most of the bread went to the ducks apart from the occasions where I was too slow to stop McBaby eating it himself. We stopped feeding the ducks when one of them flew up into the air and then dive bombed towards my head, quacking like Daffy having a fight. Terrifying for me but entertaining for McBaby and a barge-ful of tourists.

We then returned home via the library and came home to make some banana cake and to put on some laundry. Even though we didn't really do anything, somehow I found the day much more fulfilling than my previous days. I will enjoy this until the money runs out!