The McBaby and I ventured to the church coffee morning for the first time in ages, picking up a couple of Christmas decorations and the obligatory candle (I am always fearful that our electricity will run out and we won't be able to see!).
I also bought McBaby some cake which he shredded to pieces. Mindful of the telling off I got last time he did that, I dutifully took the chair to the bin and swept the crumbs into it. Returning to the table, there was a loud bang and I saw the McBaby's chair tip forward and his face hit the table. There seemed to be silence for a few seconds before he started screaming. I ran over to him to be blocked by a substantial woman rolling her eyes and shouting; "Where's his mother?"
"I'm here and I'm trying to get past you!"
McBaby had a ferocious bruise but had calmed down after I kissed it better and gave him lots of hugs. But about 200 eyes were still on us and the tutting around the room sounded like someone carrying out a test with a Geiger counter. I decided that more cake would help both of us.
We walked back to the table where I was repeatedly told that the McBaby had hit his face, including once by the perfect mum that I see absolutely everywhere. In fact, I am absolutely certain she wasn't even in the room when it happened as I hadn't seen her up to then! She must have heard it happen from her house and only popped up to tell me what a bad mum I was.
Undeterred, I let the McBaby choose a cake and in his excitement, unbelievably, he banged his chin on the table. More tears. More internal panic that he had re-opened the wound.
"Rub his chin! Rub his chin!" a woman shouted in my face.
I couldn't decide whether to tell her that I couldn't because he's already cut it open or just rub it as she was still shouting "rub his chin," now with a more irritated tone. So we just left.
"See you next time" said an old lady as we left. Don't think so!
*In the last 24 hours since that happened yesterday morning, I'm pleased to announce that no more McBaby facial features were harmed!