Tuesday, 2 July 2013

The three hour bouncy castle adventure


We were only walking past. I needed to get some picnic food so that we could watch the outdoor opera in the evening, but en route to the supermarket,the McBaby spied a colourful bouncy castle in the midst of the church’s fun day and started to make his way towards it waving his arms and laughing.

Happy to let him have a bounce, as we got near, we were told to buy a ticket from inside the church. Waylaid by the McBaby’s insistence on playing with a toy sword he found and then watching a group of enthusiastic ukulele players, we went into the church to find that I had nothing but a £20 note (that doesn’t happen very often) and a £5 garden centre voucher, so back out we went to get some change.

First port of call was Poundland, or Pound World or Pound Universe –whatever it’s called. Except there was a toy car outside that attracted the McBaby’s attention. I popped him inside and he kept pressing the “go” button and shouting as it wouldn’t move. I didn’t have any change, so tried again to get him into the Pound Shop where he had a tantrum. So I tried to get him into the 99p shop, thinking that might be a more popular choice with him.

Eventually he calmed down and I bought him some biscuits, clutching the change that would allow me to buy a bouncy castle ticket.

We slowly made our way back to the church, stopping to inspect every cigarette end on the pavement and to shout at every dog that passed. Then we headed into the flower beds to pick up some stones to throw.

Back in the church, I handed over 50p and the McBaby snatched the ticket out of my hand.

And then dropped it into the grate in the aisle. I bent down on my hands and knees and fished it out along with dust from 700 years of worship and we headed back out to the bouncy castle. The lady overseeing the bouncing took our ticket and then warned two older boys on the bouncy castle that the McBaby was coming. But instead, he snatched the tambourine out of her hand and started playing it vigorously. He wouldn’t get on the bouncy castle. Fed up, I eventually threw him on.

He bounced once and then insisted on coming off again.

In summary: Three hours, one bounce.

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