Wednesday, 21 November 2012

The Beverly Hillbillies...

..not just a series from the 60s. The Clampitts are live and well and living in Newbury.

Today I seemed to embarrass myself at every turn. The fourth of my "responsible and experienced" babysitters appeared today to see if they could be the person I could call on when I need to do some work.

That McBaby doesn't look after himself, you know. And he could have told my boss that, as he phoned him three times this morning.

So that was number one.

When the lady arrived, I had just broken the kettle and offered a cup of tea which I had to make by boiling the water on the hob. And there were remnants of burnt toast in the grill, as we don't currently have a toaster. Strikes two and three.

Then I was ok for 20 minutes. I had work to do and was a-press releasing away. Then I though I heard my name. And again.

I went upstairs and found the McBaby's door shut. I always leave it open because the last person who closed it was a French exchange student who got the door stuck. I had to rescue him from the room and forgot to get it fixed.

I couldn't open it. I rammed it with my shoulder, called MrM and shouted platitudes while she offered to phone her husband, a fireman.

The potential embarrassment must have given me a rush of energy, as this shoulder charge opened it successfully. Strike four.

The McBaby was a bit upset about his false imprisonment, so the nice lady decided to take him for a walk.

Only to find that I'd left the pushchair in MrM's car. Strike five.

"No problem! I'll take a sling!"

I couldn't find sling. Strike six.

I then remembered it was in an upstairs drawer and started flinging things out of it like I was packing in a romcom. A towel sailed down the stairs and landed on her head. Strike seven.

Then I couldn't find his hat. Strike eight.

But she found another hat in his drawer that I couldn't remember buying. Strike nine.

Then she went outside for a walk. Except I made a stupid joke about "please come back!" and she said that she'd walk in the garden if it made me feel better. They had a great time, and unbelievably, the McBaby fell asleep in her arms.

She put him on my bed for a nap and he slept for THREE HOURS! During which time I thanked her, begged her to come back and tried to pay her. She wouldn't accept it.

Did I dream the whole thing?


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