I didn't make it to church this week (or for the past 112 weeks for that matter), but thought I should confess to some terrible things I've done since I became a parent six months ago.
1. I left my son with a total stranger on Friday night. It's the first time I've left him with anyone other than my mum, but I thought one of us would go mad if we didn't have some time apart. She was the first person who has ever followed through on their offer to babysit and was great with him. It seems they had a lovely time together and when I returned two hours later, he was asleep with his arms wrapped tightly around her.
2. After a month of struggling to lift the McBaby and his pushchair up and down and up and down and up and down flights and flights of stairs. After being barged and pushed and occasionally left watching as a load of perfectly able people would rush into the lift (hence my taking of this pic), I was less than gracious when someone grabbed the pushchair when I was halfway up a flight of stairs. I did say thank you, but should have been a lot nicer about it. It's just that, if you are going to help, then please tell me so that I don't suddenly find that the McBaby is being propelled head downwards! (But genuinely, thank you for helping)
3. In 38 degree heat, I gave the McBaby pineapple which he LOVED. And then reacted to so that he looked a bit like Richard Branson with a red goatee beard. When the health visitor mentioned the foods that a baby shouldn't eat she said, "seafood, nuts and honey". She did not mention citrus fruit. My mum thought it was funny to dress him in these trousers the next day.
4. I let him roll off the bed. I can't even bring myself to write anymore about it as it was so traumatic.
5. Short of cash, I SOLD HIS PUSHCHAIR. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, the winning bidder said she didn't want it as it was pink and she had a boy. (Er so do I, and I only mentioned the pink THREE times in the listing). The second bidder said she'd collect and then told me she'd bought another one, so perhaps this is to teach me a lesson about selling my son's stuff.
6. I had to return an item I'd borrowed to someone called Ivan. (I never found out what his surname was but I am hopeful that it is "Ho"). WHile we were in his shop I didn't exactly leap in rapidly when I saw the McBaby exploring a sandwich toaster and then eating the plastic piece of toast inside....
How many spaces shall I leave for all the other stupid things that I haven't done yet but will. What do you feel bad about after having children?