As part of our hypnobirthing course, I had a one-to-one session to finally release any fears about the birth. It actually dawned on me how far I'd come as I feel ok about this now and it's the next 18 years that I am now worrying about.
It was a wonderful session which started with a gentle talk on some of the fears that I'd written down. Some of these I'd already dispelled myself and the others seemed to be a bit silly after talking them through. I was then asked to crumple up the paper and throw it away.
I then had a very deep relaxation session which was so intense that I firstly woke myself up with a snore, then my fingers went tingly and then finally I started crying and dribbled all over the blanket. I am such a disgrace sometimes that this puts all of my stupid fears into context.
I should add though that these were happy tears. Claire addressed the baby and talked through the birth and its first moments. The baby responded with some strong kicks and some really visible wiggling proving beyond doubt that it knew what she was saying. She talked about how the baby's mum and dad will love it so much and do everything we can for it and at that moment I imagined MrM holding it for the first time. I know he and I will be very emotional when we hold it for the first time and lo - that's when the tears wouldn't stop!
Despite the total embarrassment, I actually felt a million times better afterwards. Think we're nearly ready to go!