Tuesday, 12 July 2011

My midwife crisis

It's with longing and yearning that I hear about other people's midwives who are mostly a combination of nurse, angel and mother. Mine is not. I asked MrM to come with me on my last appointment so he could see for himself just how little information I'm getting, how I've got to work everything out for myself and how anything that I am told is wound up so tightly that it's really confusing. The last straw was when I was due for my 16 week appointment but no-one told me. I forced my way into the surgery because I'd read about the appointment in a book. Wouldn't it make sense to have a checklist that every mother-to-be runs through, so you know where and when your next appointment is, as you leave your last one?

Anyway, I met a really nice lady today and she listened carefully to my moans about all of this. Fortunately she sympathised and she has now been appointed as my doula! In half an hour, she gave me more concrete information and support than anyone else has, and she has talked me through the basics and will be present throughout the birth. She's going to help with everything from putting me in touch with helpful practitioners to helping me write my birth plan.

This means that if I want music during the birth, that's what I get! If I want people to be quiet - they will! I could have done with her at our wedding to ask some of MrM's family to remove their screaming babies during the most important part of our wedding -the vows!

I loved how passionate she was about how much she enjoyed pregnancy, childbirth and children - once the pain hits, I'll need someone to remind me to keep my eye on the bigger picture. My other worry is for poor MrM who looks after me so well that I know it won't be pleasant for him to see me suffer. Mrs Doula will look after him too and if it's a long labour, has even offered to let him nap here and there...she's even promised to be there if the birth should be over Christmas. Now that's dedication....

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